Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known- Milne

3 am—the two smoke alarms in my apartment blink a second apart, and it’s driving me insane. I haven’t ever had insomnia before, but for the past few weeks I can’t seem to get more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night. I’m really not sure this existential crisis has surfaced now, but I can’t stop thinking of what I’ll do in 5 months once my program ends. I could end up in any number of cities, doing any number of things. For the purposes of this post though, this insomnia has taken me on a bit of an existentialist’s treasure hunt.

A while ago, when I was about to set off for Russia, my roommate Ben casually mentioned that I reminded him of Rabbit of Pooh’s Corner. He was referring to the book ‘The Tao of Pooh,’ and said I was bustling off here and there looking for something I thought would calm whatever fire under my feet that wouldn’t let me stand still. Well, late one night last week I finally decided to find out what Ben was talking about. The book has been delightful, and I think wise old Ben had some justification all those year-and-a-half ago. I won’t spoil the read for you, but it’s been a great self-reflection experience for this rabbit who’s trying to be clever for the sake of being clever.

Now I’d like to introduce you to my newest English student, Yasya. Her infectious happiness is at a peak when she’s playing with dolls, singing, playing the piano, practicing English and Chinese, or wrestling with her tiny dog, Liza. Yasya also happens to be blind. After every lesson, I am more amazed by this talented little girl, and I always walk into the freezing cold night smiling. I can’t help but think of her when I read Viktor Frankl’s, ‘Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.’

Here’s for choosing a more relaxed attitude toward life. To believing that things just may work out if I let them. And more importantly, here’s to a full night’s sleep.