I may have said this before, but one of my professors here has lived all over the world, and when people ask him why he came back to live in Moscow he just says that it's because it's a funny place. Just when I think I start to understand this city, it throws me some curveballs. Today I had the absolutely most banal errands to run, but they ended up being one tiny surprise after another...
The first surprise was when I woke up and it was sunny (it's been such a long winter). Then nothing happened for a while...but then I randomly ran into my friend Olya in a totally random corner of Moscow. It's crazy, but we run into each other all the time, and it would creep me out if it wasn't such a pleasant surprise. In a city of 15 million people, we see each other all over the place.
Next I went to the post-office, saw the line of 5 people and was overjoyed, a Russian post-office that's not overcrowded? A miracle. After 45 minutes of waiting though, the line didn't move at all. Just when I was about to abandon hope, it turned out everyone else was in the wrong line except me. Do you realize what that means?! I, an American, finally figured out the bureaucracy better than even the Russians! Plus, the normally frightening middle-aged woman at the counter was super nice.
Finally I went to the store to pick up some dinner and found some odd products.
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| For some reason there are a bunch of Ice Age products in Russia - what does Ice Age have to do with chips? I think Russians just really identify with the characters in the movie, apparently particularly the rabid squirrel. |
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| My friend Yulia tricked me into getting this one. She promised it was just a health bar for kids. It looked innocent enough, sort of chocolatey. After I tried it she mentioned that it's made out of blood! How creepy is that? Especially with the scary child on the wrapper...cheeks are not naturally that rosy. I really feel like there are just so many jokes for this one...please just take a moment to think about them, and let your imagination take you there. |
I agree with you: too many jokes to even venture out in the territory. But now at least my fear of Russian children has a face. I wanted to add to your title, "...wrapped in a vest..."
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I actually warned you about that bar, Bryce. In one of my Russian courses, they taught us about the hemaglobin bars. I asked you, Tyler, and Teresa, all with a resounding "no way". So, I guess this is me saying "told you so".
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